Family
by KDMOSP
Summary: Spoilers for 200: (Just a tiny bit!) What JJ may be going through...


**A/N: I am writing this from my perspective. I think I have a unique one on the subject of abduction considering I survived one ten years ago. It really, really changes a person. Having to speak with the FBI changes your perspective on a lot of things, you learn that there are truly good people in the world. And often you meet them under the most awful of circumstances. I just want to thank that FBI agent who spoke to me, believed me, and listened to me.**

**So this is kinda of spoilering about 200, and know ya'll know why I am obsessed with it. I LOVE writing from different perspectives, it adds a dimension that is often missed to the fandom. Enjoy:**

You want nothing more than for this torture to end; and thats exactly what is is, torture. You laugh to yourself, you had often joked that Henry's bedtime was torture, the flu was torture, Will in a bad mood was torture. Now, now you know what real torture is; and you regret what you used to refer to it as. You know that if you are to survive this, you will never use the word "torture" in vain again.

No, torture isn't taking your beautiful son to bed, him arguing the entire way. It isn't tucking him in and reading him his favorite story as he continually fought sleep. That was heaven.

Torture isn't the flu. It was awful and miserable, but it was far from torture. Will's mood was not torture, it was your husband being a human being and being in a bad mood.

What you were going through now, this is torture. There is the physical aspect of it, what they have done to you. That is something you can ignore, your training has taught you how to disassociate yourself from the pain. That is a piece of cake compared to the mental anguish you are going through.

And what is worse, is you are the one putting yourself through it. At least the way you see it. All you can think about is your son, your husband, your team.

Henry, your son. Henry who loves swimming and fishing, he loves school and chicken nuggets. Henry who is just learning how to read.

Will, the love of your life. The man who stole your heart and waited patiently for you to marry him.

Your team, the people who were frantically looking for you. How Hotch would be in command, and would not sleep until you were found. Morgan who would break down a brick building if it meant him finding you, Blake and Rossi who would risk everything to protect you, Garcia who would hack the World Bank and Spence who would list every possible tactic to help the team locate you.

And that's not the torture, thinking about all of them is what is keeping you going. The torture comes when you think if they don't find you.

"If you are a good girl, we will let your family find your body." One of them whispers. "If you tell us, I promise, you'll get a nice burial."

You refuse, but his words echo in your mind. They will let your family find your body. You know you are going to die, they are going to kill you if you give them the information or not. Your life is coming to an end and you will die a victim.

You close your eyes when another kick shatters your ribs, refusing to cry. You prepare yourself for more pain when nothing comes. You open your eyes to see Emily standing in front of you. Her eyes full of concern.

"JJ?" She shakes you and you realize you had disassociated again. You had never heard them come in, and you refuse to move.

You are stuck, the trick that saved you, the disassociation that had saved you, is now trapping you. You see Emily's mouth moving, see the team rush in, but all you can do is stare straight ahead.

It's when Will comes in, and takes your hand in his that you find yourself reconnecting with the world. You blink your eyes, almost in shock.

"Will?" You whisper

"JJ." He responds and you feel his touch on your hair. And you know your torture is over. The very things that kept you alive, that kept you going are now a reality. They are all standing in front of you.

And as you limp out of that hell hole you close your eyes and breathe in the fresh air, take in all of the colors you see, the stars, the cold air on your skin, the people who have come out to find you.

The people you are convinced kept you going. Your family saved you tonight and you smile as they each hug you. And when you find your voice and address everyone of them you realize something. You are no longer a victim, you are now a survivor.

**A/N: During my abduction, the ONE thing that kept me going was my family. I tried to capture that idea in this story!**


End file.
